10 Signs You Have a Controlling Boyfriend

1 A Controlling Boyfriend Doesn’t Like Your Friends

This is one of the telltale beginning signs that you have a potentially controlling boyfriend. A normal boyfriend may not get along with your friends, but he will make an effort to socialize or listen to you talk about them because they are important to you, and he cares about you. A controlling boyfriend on the other hand only not want to have anything to do with your friends, but he is also unhappy for you to have anything to do with them! Watch out for a sulking boyfriend who doesn’t want you to have a night out with the girls, or go to dinner with your work colleagues. Also watch out for a boyfriend who is unwilling to socialize with your friends himself, and makes you feel bad for then leaving him behind.

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2 A Controlling Boyfriend Demands to Know Who You Are Texting

Passing curiosity is one thing, but if you have a boyfriend whose eyes dart towards your phone every time it makes a sound, and goes out of his way to ask who it is and what they want, then you may have a controlling boyfriend on your hands. He is the type of guy who wants all of the information, even when it is quite frankly none of his business! If you are feeling like you don’t have any privacy, and that your boyfriend demands to know everything, which by the way is completely differently to politely asking for information, then you should look start looking into his other behaviour too!

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3 A Controlling Boyfriend Guilt Trips You into Doing What He Wants

Do you find that too often you are made to change your mind about decisions you have made because your boyfriend has made you feel bad? This is a very clever form of control called emotional manipulation! It is so powerful because it appears to be non-aggressive, and it makes you feel like you are doing something wrong. Don’t fall for it – you have a controlling boyfriend.

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4 A Controlling Boyfriend Makes All of The Decisions

Ask yourself when the last time you made a decision in your relationship was. When was the last time you chose the restaurant, or the DVD, or the bottle of wine? Warning: The more you allow your boyfriend to make all of the decisions, the more likely you are to start looking for his approval when making decisions of your own – which means you won’t actually be making the decisions at all! This is exactly what a controlling boyfriend wants, because they thrive when they feel you rely on them. It makes them feel good. But that is not an equal relationship. You are sacrificing your independence. Don’t let it happen!

5 A Controlling Boyfriend Puts You Down

The worst effect a controlling boyfriend can have on you is breaking down your self esteem and inner confidence. When a guy constantly puts you down, or pays no attention to the things you want, do or believe in, he is effectively showing that he has no respect for you. If you accept this, then you are showing that you have no respect for yourself. Always stand up for what you believe in. you have no idea how important it is, especially if you have fallen for a boyfriend who has the potential to be controlling.

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6 A Controlling Boyfriend Has The Power to Make You Feel Worthless

It might not be a conscious decision of his to make you feel worthless, but this will be the end result. A controlling boyfriend won’t recognize the fact that his behaviour has destroyed who you are. All he can see is a compliant girlfriend who accepts everything how he wants it to be. I’m afraid you have to face up to the facts – that isn’t real love. When a guy truly loves you, he loves you for who you are, and he supports and celebrates your individuality and independence.

7 A Controlling Boyfriend Displays Aggressive Behaviour

Perhaps the most obvious sign that you have a controlling boyfriend is when they use physical behaviour to control you. Never accept physical intimidation. No matter how small you think it is when it happens it is still abuse, and it will always lead to more serious scenarios. Imagine you have a daughter or a younger sister – never let your boyfriend treat you in a way you would hate a daughter or sister to be treated by a man. This simple rule will protect you from not being able to distinguish where to draw the line with your controlling boyfriend.

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8 A Controlling Boyfriend Never Apologizes

Observe your boyfriend carefully. Is he ever the first one to admit he was in the wrong? A “sorry” is not the same as accepting full responsibility for his behaviour. If you are always the one to break the ice because you cant stand tension in the air, it makes you feel nervous, he probably know this and uses it to his advantage to control you.

9 A Controlling Boyfriend wants to be the Most Important Thing in Your Life

Controlling boyfriends are actually very insecure people. This is often why most of the behaviour involves isolating you from your friends and family who are the people who give you strength, and making you rely on him instead for your stability, happiness, emotional security etc. If your boyfriend is you number one priority, if he is the most important thing in your life, or the only thing, then you have some changes to make if you want to start establishing a more balanced and healthy relationship.

10 A Controlling Boyfriend Controls Things in Your life

This might sound obvious but it is perhaps the most enlightening fact of all – you can tell if you have a controlling boyfriend by assessing how much of your life he controls, or wants to control. Remember, it is meant to be your life, not his. If you are not the one in control of everything in your life, then something is wrong. You have a controlling boyfriend. It is time to start addressing the issue!

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