When it comes to any kind of relationship, it is almost always a two-process. As it does take two people to tango, each relationship needs input between the two parties so that it can work. There are a lot of things that you need to be aware of with each other, and you should already know each other well. However, there are still sides that we can keep to ourselves as long as it does not negatively affect the relationship in the present or future.
Unfortunately, there are instances wherein the relationship can get a bit complicated, Conflict comes in all the time, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. An argument between two people in a relationship is a normal occurrence. You can always talk it out and see the reasons why you differ from each other. On the other hand, there are also situations wherein there is no explanation at all.
Most of the time, it is the men who do this act but women can also do it: the act of pulling away from the relationship. The recent terminology for this might be “ghosting” as this page says but that process entails a complete disappearance of the significant other.
Pulling away is the process that precedes the ghosting portion, but it does not change the fact that it can hurt you as a person. There is nothing worse than having no explanation at the end of a relationship.
For this reason, it is crucial to analyze why your man is trying to separate himself from the relationship. It can happen at any point in the affair, from dating to already committed with each other. Once it is done though, the only thing remains is the hurt left by the separation. There are many reasons why this can happen to your relationship, and why men are the usual suspects.
Common Reasons Why It Happens
Internal Issues About Feelings
When it comes to feelings, most men are not acclimatized to their own. It can be because of their upbringing or other issues in their lives. When they identify the idea that they are already falling for another person, they can turn defensive and would reject these feelings.
Some men cannot easily process what they feel, and the only way to resolve it is to stay away from their object of affection. It is such a prevalent notion that some cultures have a specific word for it, like the Japanese “tsundere.”
Everything Went Too Fast, Too Far
Another thing that can make them pull away is the intensity of the relationship. It might seem baffling to be considered as the reason why men pull away, but it can be a plausible explanation. They might not like where the relationship is heading, and they do not want to do it right away. Understandably, it can be overwhelming to be a whirlwind relationship for example, so they try to escape this fate.
Clinging to Independence and Lost Youth
On the other hand, some men would like to sow their oats before going into a serious relationship. You might know them as “playboys” trying to enjoy their youth as much as possible. They are also labeled as immature, but some of them just like to play around for a while before settling down.
As a woman, it is nice to play with them for a short time but don’t ever disillusion yourself into taming this wild horse. You might end up breaking yourself instead of them.
Fear of Commitment
This notion can be a combination of the others on this list, as they might be commitment-phobes in general. They do not like being tied down and staying with just one person for the rest of their lives. Commitment is the chain that would change their lives forever, and they might not like the idea of that ever happening. His past can also play a role in exacerbating this fear, as they might be afraid that committing to one person would inevitably end up in failure.
Trauma due to Previous Experience
When it comes to the past, a lot of things that happened at that time can still affect your future. Most men would try to hide this through their masculinity (which we will discuss next), lashing out, or through escaping it. Their animosity towards relationships might also be because of what happened to their previous one in the past. It makes them even more afraid to spend time and invest in a new relationship.
Challenges on His Masculinity
Our society has always associated any kind of feeling with femininity. As a man, this is something that should be avoided according to their toxic masculinity doctrine. Some of these might also play into their fear of relationships or settling down too quickly which might affect their manhood.
A relationship would also make them more vulnerable and ghosting someone would reinforce it all over again according to their belief. Learn more about toxic masculinity here: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/toxic-masculinity-history/583411/.
Other Issues Not Related to the Relationship
On the other hand, there might be some other reason why they do not want to associate with you anymore. They might have found out something about you which they have deemed as incompatible with theirs. Also, other aspects of their lives like their friendships, careers, or family might be affected because of their relationship. Pulling away seems like the only viable option for them, and they end up doing it.
No matter the reason, it is important to keep in contact with each other and be open about your feelings. This might be tricky especially if your man is not the expressive type. It can also be tempting to lash out and hurt the other in the same way that they have hurt you. However, this is not the most logical way to do it as it can just make everything worse.
Communication is still the key to solving any kind of relationship issues. If they have already ghosted you, try to reach out and ask for a reason. However, if they do not end up responding, it would be best to move on. You might not end up having answers to all of your questions, but it is better to leave them unanswered than staying confused about the situation. Your heart will always heal in time.