How To Start a Conversation With a Girl : Important Chat-up Tips

The Easy Way to Chat up a Girl and Get Results

Some guys make it look so easy, don’t they? Some guys have enviable confidence, and they can go up to any girl they want and chat them up, like it is something they were put on this earth to do! Don’t you wish you could be like that? I have great news – You can be!

There are two important secrets to chatting up girls that will increase your chances of success, and I am going to share these secrets with you, because every guy deserves the superpower of being able to start up a conversation with a girl without going red in the face.

How To Start a Conversation With a Girl

1 Prepare Yourself Before You Dive into the Conversation

The most common mistake guys make when they go in to chat up a girl is not taking the time to prepare for the task first. Understandably, you’re partly eager to break the ice, and partly eager to get it over and done with. Adrenaline sets in and you charge full steam ahead, ending up standing in front of her in a shifty sort of manner, with a blank face, blurting out something stupid that ruins your chances of ever getting to know her properly! Disaster.

Avoid all of that stress and embarrassment by taking these preparation steps before you even think about going out onto the field to chat up your lady.

  • Know your goal. It is important to be realistic, and not aim too high at this point. Ask yourself exactly why you want to start up a conversation with this girl. Yes she’s hot, yes you want to get her to notice you, and yes you want to get to know her… But what do you want to achieve from the conversation? A good and realistic goal is to get her contact details so that you open up a chance to get to know her better later. If this is your initial goal – perfect! Or it might be that she is the girl next door and you want to offer to mow her lawn – that’s a good goal too. As is inviting her to an event you know she will be interested in. If you know your goal, you will give yourself a sense of inner confidence, because you will have a valid reason for starting up a conversation with her in the first place, and you’re less likely to come across as a creep who is harassing the poor girl.
  • Do Your Research. There is no point in placing yourself into a conversation you can’t live up to. Too often girls are faced with awkward guys who have approached them with a flakey conversation opening, and then not been able to take it anywhere. For example, maybe they have just come in and asked the girl what her name is and what she’s doing – To a girl that is a complete invasion of her privacy, especially if you are a stranger and she is minding her own business in a public place. You have to prepare yourself for this conversation by having a valid reason to approach her. This might mean some quick thinking on your part. Be observant. Go in with a valid talking point. Is she relaxing nearby in a park reading a book you recognize? Great! That is something you can talk about. If you haven’t read her book, check out how far through she is, and then approach her with the fact that you’ve been meaning to read it, is she enjoying it? TIP: It’s not a god idea to bluff your way through these things. Be genuine and you will get genuine responses.
  • Get Rid of Your Nerves. Girls can smell fear from a mile off. If they sense that you’re not confident in yourself, then they won’t have any confidence in you either. So before you go in, try to relax and clear your mind. The more comfortable you are within your own body, the less intrusive you will feel to her. So get rid of any tense energy. Breathing exercises can help to clear the mind and calm the nerves, leaving you feeling refreshed and open to the experience and challenge. Don’t disguise your nerves with alcohol either, because then the girl doesn’t get to meet the real you. This is one reason why it is never the best idea to go to bars to meet girls. You might feel you have really hit it off with someone, but then the next time you meet her, everything can look different under the sober light of day.


2 Make The Most of the Experience – Enjoy it!

How To Start a Conversation With a Girl 1

Your experience, the girl’s response, and the final outcome will all be affected by your own attitude and approach to the chat up. You can make it stressful for you, and you can make her close up, simply by approaching the whole thing with the wrong mindset. But if you approach it with the aim of enjoying the experience and challenge, then you will lighten the scenario, soften her response and encourage a positive result.

Make sure you smile! Look into her eyes but don’t stare or make her feel uncomfortable. Remember that your aim is to try and make her feel as comfortable as possible so that she will relax and open up. The simplest way to do this is to smile and be genuine. She will pick up on your positive and relaxed vibes immediately, and her suspicions will melt away.

It is a good idea to keep the conversation short too, especially if the girl wasn’t the one who invited you into it. Never assume that a girl wants to sit and talk to you for hours. Even if she seems like she doesn’t mind, she could just be polite, or shy and not know how to leave.

If you keep this initial conversation short then you will hopefully leave her feeling interested and wanting more, which is your opportunity to exchange contact details or invite her to that event!

TIP: A great way to assess how interested she is and to make sure she is not just being polite and tolerating your conversation, is at some point to give her the opportunity to ask you questions and get involved. You won’t know if she is genuinely interested in what you are saying if you don’t give her the opportunity to dig for more information. Remember, a girl who just wants to get rid of you, is not going to encourage you to keep talking by asking questions. She is going to contribute as little as possible.

About Scarlett Robinson


  1. how chat i start a chat with a foriegn person

  2. it really helped

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