How to Keep the Spark Going In Your Relationship

Too often we are so “in love” in the beginning of our relationships. Then somewhere down the road we lose sight of that “love” and we just begin to exist. We begin to just function, to just “be”. But we can change that. We can go back to the beginning, to the very moment that when you looked at your partner, instantly you felt butterflies. Or you adorned their beauty and intellect. Remember those moments? And that is the problem. Those things that gave the relationship the initial spark became moments as opposed to the ideal way to love and express how we feel about our mate. You can never express your love too much and you don’t have to use money to do it either. Keeping the spark in a relationship can be very challenging, but it is not impossible. You may think you know everything about your partner, but as you grow, your ideals and perceptions in life grow as well. So there is always something new to discover or to embrace about each other. There can be constant new beginnings. Let’s take it back to the fundamentals. Here are just a few ways to keep the spark and fire burning in your


  1. Date. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, you should ALWAYS date. The dating stages of most relationships are opportunities to impress and be creative for each other. Dating is identified as being the “getting to know you” stages. Treat your relationship like you are always learning and being introduced to something new. Introduce your mate to a new restaurant or a new adventure. Find things that you can do together and make it a date. Come dressed your best. Try a new look. Dye your hair. Cut your hair off. Come feeling like you are about to meet each other for the first time again. The anticipation and excitement building up will definitely lead you to being at your best on your date.
  2. Work out together. Very rarely do couples work out together. Working out together toward a healthier and fit lifestyle is beneficial for the both of you, but you will also become each other’s motivator. You will get to see your partner push themselves beyond what they believed they could accomplish. You will discover determination and persistence in your partner. These are qualities and characteristics that generally attract individuals to one another. Working out together is something that can become routine, but it is a good routine to have because it is results driven. Results motivate. Motivation propels. And if you are propelling together, eventually you will succeed. Succeeding together is a measure in your relationship that you have which allows you to identify that you are with a partner that you can win with.
  3. Talk. Talk. Talk. In relationships, at some point couples stop talking. They think they have run out of things to talk about, but guess what? You haven’t. There is always so much more to explore about your mate. Constant communication is very healthy. Tell each other a joke. Tell your mate about something you learned or did new that day. Share an article you read. Couples have a tendency to think that they’re partner may not be interested in listening to or knowing about certain things that may pique their interest. Negative thinking yields negative results. Your partner should be your friend first. And when you’re friends, you typically share everything together. No holds bar, start sharing more now!
  4. Show appreciation. When a relationship becomes familiar and routine the first thing that happens is that you begin to take advantage of each other. You begin to take each other for granted and then regret sets in. Here’s a challenge. Sit back and think about all your mate does for you. Think about how thoughtful he/she is. Think about how attentive your mate is to your needs and keen to listen to your every thought and desire. If you have children, how does your partner treat or care for your children? It’s so easy to look over the things that we do for each other on a daily basis because it becomes an expectation or just the “thing” that we do. Be appreciative. Embrace. Hug. Let your mate know that they are appreciated. Show them your appreciation. If you want to ignite a spark, start being appreciative.
  5. Have Discussion with Resolve. Stop Arguing! After some time, eventually you’re not going to agree on everything, but when you disagree, how do you handle it? What do you say to your partner? Are you yelling? Yelling and arguing does not yield productive results. Learn to express yourself passionately without insults. Learn to state your position and be okay with the fact that maybe, just maybe your partner will not agree. And if he/she doesn’t agree, it’s okay. It’s time to figure out how to come to a resolve and how do you move forward from here. If you are unable to control anger, walk away. Always walk away and allow clear, calm and concise thinking to prevail. Once you are calm, then you can come back and discuss what angered you. Healthy discussions are more productive than shouting matches any day.

Keeping the spark going in your relationship can be overwhelming. But as long as you both are willing to give selflessly then you are sure to ignite a fire within each other that only you two can identify with. When relationships fall into routines that are without purpose, the passion and desire is lost. Some routine is necessary. As long as it promotes the both of you, then it is beneficial to your relationship. But when routine begins to drown the essence of your relationship, then it’s time to throw out your routine and shake it up a little bit. Do something completely out of the norm. Contrast can be good. Get the spark going again, and watch your relationship go the long haul and become more meaningful than ever before.

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