Whether you meet your partner after being introduced by mutual friends, or you happen to be a fan of Internet dating online chats, not every relationship is going to progress smoothly. Inevitably, some will not last the course. But what are the warning signs to look out for, the hints indicating your loving partnership is nowhere near as loving as you think it is? Here are four classic symptoms of an unhealthy relationship.
One of the unhealthiest warming signs of all is jealousy. Have you ever been in a situation where you have been on a night out, embracing the joy of the party atmosphere and innocently flirting with one of your partner’s friends, or some other acquaintance who is showing some sociable interest? In a healthy partnership, it is perfectly acceptable for either party to spend some time involved in what could be described as cheeky repartee with third parties. But only an idiot would fail to accept this is nothing more than fun, as 99% of flirting is simply the way people communicate. If your partner cannot accept this lighthearted situation and instead chooses to fly into tantrums, this should be a definite red flag.
In any healthy partnership, either party should feel totally at ease when it comes to arranging social gatherings outwith the couple. If you have arranged a get-together with friends, only for your other half to either bombard you with phone calls and texts demanding a running commentary on what you are doing, or even worse, to actually show up at the venue to keep an eye on you, this is another clear red flag. All relationships require some sort of breathing space; after all, there’s an old adage which states absence makes the heart grow fonder. If your partner is stifling your behavior by refusing to give you any freedom, you need to accept this is an unnatural state of affairs.
An extreme version of this obsessive behavior comes when your partner makes it quite clear they are refusing to share you with anyone else. Do you find you are being increasingly being forced to withdraw from social situations or meetings with your friends? The longer this situation persists, the greater the barrier which the toxic partner will put out between you and your wider social circle. Members of your social circle will have no way of knowing what is inspiring this sudden behavior and might well put the blame on you. This is a particularly tragic aspect of this unhealthy situation because the more isolated you become, the harder it will be to receive any support from your friends or family to help extricate you from it. The unhealthy relationship will just continue to deteriorate until you find the courage to confront the culprit or seek outside assistance.
Have you ever been in this situation where who have entered a room looking for your mobile phone, only to find it in a different? It could well be the case your partner has been digging into your messages for whatever reason. Have they asked for your passwords, perhaps giving some innocent explanation about wanting to check bank details? They might actually be engineering a way to get into your contacts so they can keep an eye on who you are in touch with.
If you have anything to divulge to your partner, you should feel able to do so through normal conversation. Being scrutinized in this way is something you might expect from the secret police in some totalitarian regime. Certainly not someone who professes to love you.